I started writing this post last summer (2020), when the number of Covid cases started to decline and I thought that we were over the worst of it. I was taking my time writing it, and before I’d finished, there was talk of a second surge. I decided to put the post aside. In early October, we made plans with our son and his girlfriend to celebrate Christmas in person. That plan was shelved. Now we are vaccinated and I’m dusting off this post in light of all that has happened.
Because so many talented people use words in ways that I can only dream of, I’m sharing a link to a poem that is a powerful expression of our loss of loved ones during the pandemic. I think that you will love Downpour by Billy Collins (The New Yorker).
For me, being vaccinated doesn’t mean being back to life as usual. I’ve been reading about the new variants and how the virus takes advantage of the opportunity to spread and mutate. The more it gets the opportunity to mutate, the greater its chances of beating our vaccines. Nature is powerful and clever.
We’ve made the personal choice to remain extra careful. We haven’t dined in restaurants, worked in the office, attended events or spent time with many people. We still mask up to go into grocery stores, the post office and other public places. We are trying not to drop our guard.
Even though we are being very cautious, we are enjoying more freedom thanks to our vaccines and new guidance about being with people outside. I love being able to take a walk and not worry about my mask. I am so grateful to be able to see our loved ones in person again, now that we are all vaccinated.
In looking back over more than a year of quarantine, there are things that I missed, didn’t miss and will never forget.
There are things I didn’t miss:
- Traffic. Now that we have seen how effective remote work can be, I hope that we can continue to do some kind of hybrid approach to working, which will reduce traffic and reap the benefits of fewer cars on the road.
- The constant rush and all of the things related to it.
- I don’t miss feeling like I have to book things far into the future, because the calendar is always full.
- Nor do I miss being so busy that I don’t make enough time to exercise (i.e. take care of myself). Over the last year, I’ve used what was my former commuting time to exercise and that is such a win for my sense of well-being.
Things that I missed:
Every time I think about things that I missed last year, it is accompanied by an immediate rush of guilt, because I am so fortunate. I have a job that I can do from home. I have food on my table. The things that I miss do not compare to what others have lost.
- My son. I missed giving Louis a hug. I missed the three of us hanging out in the living room, each with a book or laptop or phone, quietly enjoying each other’s company. I missed our infrequent, but always amazing road trips. Being able to see Louis and Julia in May was the best experience of 2021. I can still feel Louis in my embrace.
- Getting dressed up on a weekend night and going out for dinner.
- Gathering with friends.
- Walking into Arlington center and stopping into a coffee shop on the weekend.
- Planning and looking forward to events. I miss the pleasure that comes with planning for summer vacation, planning a visit to Brooklyn to see Louis or planning a dinner with family or friends.
Things that I will never forget from this pandemic:
- The incredible sacrifices of the heroes who got up every morning and went out to do their jobs in the face of a deadly virus. I am amazed by the courage of so many people.
- Medical people who went into work each day to save lives. People who left their families and went to other states, because they were needed.
- Grocery store workers, who helped feed us.
- People working in farms and food production facilities, also feeding us.
- Police and firefighters.
- Sanitation workers.
- People working at food banks, distributing food to those in need.
- People working in manufacturing, producing masks and PPE.
- Teachers, who shifted the way that they educated, to help their students learn from home.
- The joy of being outside. Walks have been our escape from the four walls that we spent so much time in. We notice every bloom, color, animal, bird and smell (and we especially appreciate not losing our sense of smell).
- The pleasure of food. We are foodies, but I don’t think food has ever tasted so good as it did this last year. During the pandemic we were so much more careful to use things up and not be wasteful. Maybe it’s all the walking we did during the quarantine, but every bite is a pleasure.
- The importance of my vote. I want leaders who will support disaster preparedness and who believe in science and medicine.
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